First Ramadan in the UK: 6 things I struggled with

As I write this, I laugh at the fact that I thought last Ramadan (1441 A. H. /2020) was weird. I had no idea this year’s would be even weirder for different reasons. Honestly, nothing could have prepared me for it. I have reflected on what made it so strange and these are the things that stood out for me.

The loneliness

All my life, I’ve always had people around during Ramadan. Even in secondary school and vet school, when I was away from home, there was always the school mosque or classmates who were fasting too. I had taken the simple pleasures of belonging a community for granted until this year. Not-quite-surprisingly, there was no Muslim in my entire apartment building. I was desperate enough to mail the school interfaith advisor to make enquiries, but all the Muslim students chose to stay in their family homes this year (joys of the pandemic). I began to search for mosques around to offer taraweeh prayers in congregation, but they were either too far from my accommodation or they did not offer prayers for women. In that moment, I missed my family so much. I missed the gentle way my dad called out to prayer and how he waited for us to join him for taraweeh. I regretted all the times I hesitated before praying in congregation. However, midway through Ramadan, I met with some Muslim students (from another school) for iftar at a nice Turkish restaurant. It was just good to talk to people who could relate with my experience. I also found a mosque that was one bus away from my accommodation and the nights I prayed there were glorious!

Schoolwork

First of all, schoolwork is annoying all the time but this year is worse because everything is virtual. Having to combine screen fatigue with the pangs of hunger fasting brings was not my idea of fun. Worse, I have this habit of motivating myself with snacks and I couldn’t do that all through Ramadan. Barely 20 minutes in, I would lose focus. I broke all the promises I made to myself to be productive after iftar but when deadlines started approaching, I had to fix up. I started doing schoolwork in the hours before sahur. Afterall, I could snack all I wanted then.

The longer hours

Ha-ha! To be fair, we fasted for relatively shorter durations this year compared to previous years. Still, I was used to daily fasts of about 14 hours so you understand why fasting for over 17 hours was daunting (if you’re thinking “oh it’s just 3 extra hours”, I have nothing to say to you). I would look out at 8 pm and it would still be bright! It became really difficult to eat and get some sleep between iftar and sahur. I don’t know how I did it but here I am. Allah is merciful.

Maximizing time for acts of worship

At first, I started with so much energy. The goal was to read a juz per day, listen to reflections of the Qur’an and wake up for tahajjud every night. Barely 10 days in, I started to backslide. I simply wasn’t achieving my daily goals so I set more reliable ones and I just tried my best after that. It didn’t help that tahajjud time was when I was most productive and it became a question: Good grades or heavenly race? I’ll leave you to imagine what I chose.

Missed Hangouts

This one may sound trivial to you but I have my reasons. As much as I wanted to go out when I first got here, all the fun places were shut. When did they open? – A day before Ramadan started. I had waited so long for these outings but I had to pass on a number of them because they were mostly to restaurants, and I wasn’t going to stare awkwardly while everyone else ate. Also, some of them involved physical activity. Hello? we’re trying to conserve energy here. All my resolutions to do fun things “when places open up” became “after Ramadan”. Lol. I’m really hoping I make up for all those outings.

The pandemic

I know you’re thinking this is over flogged but as long as the pandemic is on, I’m always going to complain about it. You know why. I know why. We all know why. I know it’s of little use now but I’m still gonna do it. 

It wasn’t all struggle though. Ramadan is such a beautiful month and I am going to miss the peace that comes with it. It had me feeling like a new person whose sins have been forgotten and whose prayers have been answered. On the vain side, I lost some tummy fat and I am G-Lowing!!!

Eid Mubarak to my Muslim brothers and sisters!

Taraweeh: prayers offered at night during the month of Ramadan.

Iftar: the evening meal with which Muslims break their daily Ramadan fasts.

Sahur: the meal consumed before fasting begins.

Juz: a division of the Qur’an. There are 30 juz in the Qur’an.

Tahajjud: voluntary prayers observed at night; “night vigil” if you like.